My teenage son came to me and asked if he could download an album. So I listened to it, researched the band a bit, checked out the lyrics, as I could not understand a word, and then told him, “No.” Disappointed and somewhat frustrated, he asked, “Why?” At first I evaded the question, as in truth the answer eluded me. I knew I didn’t like it, but that is inadequate criteria for judging acceptability of music in our home, and I knew I owed him a better explanation. After pondering a bit, I told him it was just too harsh, too hard, too angry. He responded in confusion, “But it’s not that much different than other albums you’ve let me buy!” He was right: it was not that much different, but it was a little different. I went on to explain my conviction that we, he and I, must define a standard.
“Do you believe it makes a difference what you fill your head with: what music you listen to, what books you read, what movies you watch? Do you think it impacts how you think, how you feel, how you see the world?”
“Definitely,” he replied.
“Do you trust your feelings? Just because a movie is entertaining, should you watch it? Just because certain music fits your mood or pumps you up, should you listen to it? Do the message, story, and lyrics matter?”
We went on to discuss how easily we become desensitized, how something we find unacceptable this year, we approve of next year because of a slow erosion in our standards. We discussed how a little violence whets our appetite, or a little swearing, a little skin, but that any appetite, even a healthy one, if not kept in check requires more and more to satisfy.
“If we do not define standards for ourselves, someone else will: Hollywood, advertisers, politicians, peers, co-workers. Do they have your best interest in mind?”
Is a good ol’ fashioned western with some gun-slinging action acceptable? For my son and I, yep, I think so. Or a real-to-life military drama with some real-to-life swearing and blood? In the right context and with some caution, yep, I’m okay with that. A slasher film full of wanton violence and gore? Not at my house.
Where precisely is the line? How exactly do we define what music, movies or books are acceptable? I’m not sure. For me and mine, it is a moving target. As my children grow up, as I grow up, as I observe the impact certain movies or albums have on us, hopefully I get wiser and things change. But I am sure of one thing: we cannot let our appetites define us or we will certainly grow physically, emotionally and spiritually obese. We cannot let external forces exploit us, as they are more interested in profit than our wellbeing.
“Son, we must define a standard and then do our best to live by it.”
Principle Based Evaluation: External forces are constantly attempting to shape our values and, as parents, we must define and model standards for our children, ultimately preparing them to think for themselves and stand on their own.
Mary Bihr
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Very true Lifestyle marketers spend millions of dollars annually to understand the attitude and behavior of the youth culture, and the ways in which they consume media. The intent, at the end of the day, is to amass a body of knowledge that can help direct the messages to the youths in product offerings and in product and brand messaging. Every stroke of every ad campaign is painstakingly constructed to attract, engage, and mobilize. The results are measured in the monetization of the outreach campaigns, in box office receipts and overall merchandise purchases. The youths of today are deceived if they believe their lifestyle choices are not, in some measure, influenced by the media they consume, the social networks to which they belong, and what they have allowed to flourish in their daily consumption habits. |
Morgan Prospek
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A Teenager's Perspective I believe that every song, movie, book, etc. can be thought of as a sermon. It is the author, artist, or director offering their worldview and their beliefs to us. It is up to us which of these we allow ourselves to become susceptible to. And you are right in saying that these means of entertainment most definitely affect our spirits. Many times we tell ourselves the smallest amounts of something won't hurt. However, it is these small choices that lead to bigger ones, and slowly numb our sensitivity to them. Now is a time for us to be sensitive to what we see, constantly guarding our hearts and our eyes, keeping them focused on Christ and His glorification. I wholeheartedly agree that it is the job of a parent to train their children in defining standards for them so that when they are left to decide for themselves, they will make the right choice. My parents have trained me in this and I know what is allowed and what is not. In some cases, what others may do, I cannot and I am ok with that because I can trust the auhtority of my parents and the wisdom of their decisions. Continue to do this with your kids and encourage others to do so as well! |
Ramah Walker
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Just a Little Piece This reminds me of a story I was told in school recently. A child asked his dad if he could go see a movie with some friends. He told him that the movie would be okay except for just the one part, but his friends will tell him when to close his eyes. The father said no, disappointing the child. Later that day the father brought a plate of brownies to his son. The son questioned why his dad had made him some. “What kind are these dad?” he asked with suspicion in his voice. He answered, “They are just brownies that I thought you may like. There is a special ingredient in them also.” “What is it?” the boy asked. “Poop. Oh, don’t worry it is just a little bit and you won’t even notice it.” The son questioned why he did this and his father said that it was just like the movie. It only had a little part in it, but it still affects the whole rest of the movie just like the poop in the brownie. Our culture today has let our standards drop and we allow ourselves to indulge in things that are simply disgusting. Little by little we are just letting our minds grow immune to things that many years ago would be considered unacceptable. I hope as I grow and become a mother some day I will stick to my standards that the Lord has set up in my life. My parents have kept to the standard of “does this music/movie/show glorify God?” This has helped me personally to stand up for what is right. When there are parts in songs/movies we need to be able to point them out and show what is wrong with them. We can’t just ignore them or turn our eyes because there is still a seed that is sown that must be plucked back up. It is the parent’s job to help their children to uphold the standards no matter what the world and culture tell them what is right. It is also the child’s job to trust the parents in whatever decision they make. |
Jaelle Hamann
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Maturity This reminds of of an article I red in October in the Kenmore Reporter. The article is all about how youth is blissful ignorance and being a teen means having fun and having no responsibilities. An excerpt from the article says, "Youth is ignorance, which sets us free. The ignorance that adults frown upon and try to get us out of is also the one that they secretly envy." (http://www.pnwlocalnews.com/no...35797.html) What?? Though this is only one person this article is a pure representation of this generations mindset. Staving off responsibility until it is thrust upon you. Allowing yourself to get wrapped up in ignorance until you're forced to adhere to some kind of standard. There's a major flaw in this idea. If you don't practice responsibility and hold yourself to a standard now then years you're not going to suddenly get it. Like the article says giving into one appetite only makes you hungrier. Giving into ignorance as a youth and refusing to embrace maturity is only going to breed more immaturity and more ignorance. Then suddenly you're 30 with the mental capabilities of a 15 year old. What kind of life will we lead then? Right now this generation is facing major problems. The economy in no time is going to be resting on our shoulders. We'll have to work the longest and the hardest . A case study reveals that any one under 25 will have to work till they're 68 to receive a pension. (http://www.guardian.co.uk/soci...nerreport1) So why are we not preparing ourselves? Now is the time for this generation to embrace a standard that will increase our maturity. Christians and non-christians alike need to start thinking about the future or else when the time comes we'll find ourselves devastatingly unprepared for life. |
jordyn cline
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Death Gone Handsome After reading this article, I was immediately reminded of the current raging trend in our teenage culture today – Stephanie Meyer’s book-turned movie series on vampires. Since the release of the first film, Twilight, this vampire obsession has overtaken teens worldwide. It was only with the release of the second movie this year that I truly began to give this topic some thought. I asked myself, “Why is our culture so easily persuaded to fall fanatically in love with characters that are really just a spirit of death all done-up? Hollywood has certainly done a phenomenal job at making death look quite handsome and lust seem like fairy-tale love. It is for this very reason that the conversation between the dad and son in this article is vitally important. Pop-culture can strongly influence teenager’s beliefs, which is why parents and teens need to clearly define their standards as to what they will let into their spirit and what they will shut the door to. I think it is time for a re-evaluation between parents and teens of the role models that are influencing their lives. http://www.breakpoint.org/features-columns/articles/13509-new-moon-new-opportunity http://movies.nytimes.com/2009/11/20/movies/20twilightnewmoon.html |
Ashley McCuen
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obsessed “If we do not define standards for ourselves, someone else will: Hollywood, advertisers, politicians, peers, co-workers. Do they have your best interest in mind?” This is so true, and something that is so crucial to define in our lives. Who is setting our standard? What do we look to as a moral guide for our lives? Is it God and His Word? Is it our friends? Is it Hollywood or MTV? In our world today, there is SO MUCH that tries to pull at young people. I am currently researching why our culture is so enamored with certain things, ie: death, vampires, witchcraft, sex, etc. Like Jordyn Cline was discussing, I too have taken an interest in the whole “Twilight-mania” that our culture is so obsessed with (and for the record, it is not just teenage girls, older women are obsessed with it too). When Myspace put up a trailer for the 2nd Twilight movie, there were 42 million viewers in just the first day! [1] And in the opening weekend of the 2nd Twilight movie, almost $143 million was made! [2] According to Times, one mother said, speaking of her 14 year old daughter’s Twilight obsession: “They call it OTD: Obsessive Twilight Disorder. My daughter was mobbed when she brought a movie magazine to school. When Robert Pattinson, who plays the vampire hero Edward, was scheduled to sign autographs at a San Francisco mall, police expected about 300 people: they got 10 times that many, including some who had flown in from Hawaii. Fans got trampled; one reportedly had her nose broken. While I realize this all counts as typical teen behavior, I couldn't help wondering, and worrying a bit, about the stories that inspired it.” [3] Like Jordyn said, Hollywood has dressed up death and evil in order to make it look attractive and good. What was originally created by God and meant for good—relationships, love, etc—has been perverted, and a huge percentage of our youth are just going right along with it. We must take a stand, and create standards and boundaries, because without them, we will just slowly and slowly become more and more desensitized. I mean, just a few decades ago, who would of thought we would be falling in love with vampires? [1] http://mashable.com/2009/11/18...oon-stats/ [2] http://boxofficemojo.com/news/?id=2625&p=.htm [3]http://www.time.com/time/arts/article/0,8599,1860416,00.html#ixzz0cbtjyTZM |
