On June 21 we will celebrate Father’s Day once again here in modern America. To those who have fathers who are still living; who know who their father is; who remain on good speaking terms with their father; or who think it is important enough to communicate in a special way on this special day, Father’s Day can be a truly meaningful relational investment. Both with my natural father while he was living, and with my father-in-law, I greatly enjoyed the opportunity to honor them for the tremendous value they brought to our family. But then again I’m old school and a very early baby-boomer who grew up in what the liberals like to call the “fantasy days” of the healthy American family in the 1940s and 1950s.
Raised in post-World War II Seattle, I grew up going to the same grammar school with the same kids I graduated from high school with. To my knowledge none of the kids had divorced parents and the traditional family was not a myth contrary to what the revisionist pundits and social workers want us to believe. We knew virtually all our neighbors by name for blocks around, and most of them knew both us and our parents. Both fathers and mothers garnered common respect by their children. I don’t remember any of my friends bad-mouthing their parents beyond their fears that their Dad “might kill them” if they found out we’d been smoking or some other “really bad things” like that. Up until high school that really was the world most the five hundred plus graduating kids of my school lived in. I’m sure there were some truly negative home situations but that kind of business seldom made it to the streets.
Mother’s Day and Father’s Day were prominent events noted by the newspapers, media, schools, and obviously the town merchants. Picnics and BBQs were common; gifts assumed. Fathers in particular still carried the role of rule-setters and enforcers of the parental standards and talking back to a father was not only viewed as “uncool” by the youth, but sometimes even dangerous in terms of going on restriction or getting your face slapped. Mom’s, though strict, were nurturers; dad’s carried the executive role which the modern media and culture have done so much to ridicule, deny, and make go away in so many areas of our culture.
All of this may sound naïve or simply nostalgic when spoken into a “modern America” where nearly fifty percent of the families are broken or reconnected by divorce or even multiple divorces. Seven out of ten African-Americans are born without lawfully married fathers and the Anglo world is on a similar trajectory. Bill Cosby and “Ozzie and Harriet” are real life people however, in spite of these dismal statistics.
Pendulums sometimes swing before the social fabric of cultures implodes. America may be graced with such good fortune. There are still a goodly number of us “dinosaurs” left to model the old ways. In truth I believe it all begins by honoring the Fatherhood of God and in every really important way; that is the bottom line.
Principle Based Evaluation: There must be easily discernable structure for any jurisdiction to be effective. This truth applies within the family as much as any other organization.
For more information on the author, Dennis Peacocke, go to: http://www.gostrategic.org/
randy nash
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... My father was/is not a perfect man. But for the 19 1/2 yrs. I was in the home, he consistently: worked, saved money, loved my mother, did household chores, took our family to church, took us on yearly vacations, took us on outings sometimes on weekends, played sports with my brothers and I, wrestled or boxed with my brothers and I, etc. And guess where all of my older brothers' friends, my friends, and my younger brother's friends preferred to hang out? You bet - - my house. Because there was security and the sense that "all is well" at our home; and our friends knew my Dad would greet them by name and show some level of interest in their life. For all of you fathers out there who are giving yourself to this most important of callings - - God bless you. And thanks Dennis for the father you are to so many of us. |
Ashley McCuen
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the role of Fathers This is so good! I have such a burden for our fatherless generation, and to see where we came from in the 1940-50's, and to look at where our world is now is heart-wrenching! I fully support that dads are to carry the executive role in the family. Our culture has so mocked what fatherhood really is. We see it in EVERY TV sitcom or movie today. I honestly cannot think of a movie or TV show in our modern media where a father is shown as wise, strong, smart, and above their children. Check out this article on the depreciation of fathers, entitled "Modern Fathers, the Equivalent of Hired Help" (http://www.parentdish.com/2009...ired-help/) While this social trend seems to be only climbing in its numbers, I do believe there are those out there who realize this problem and want to see change, Christians and Non-Christians alike. Recently, on the New York Times, an article was published entitled "Fathers Gain Respect from Experts (and Mothers)." The article noted that -- “The walls in family resource centers are pink, there are women’s magazines in the waiting room, the mother’s name is on the files, and the home visitor asks for the mother if the father answers the door,” (Philip A. Cowan, an emeritus professor of psychology at the University of California, Berkeley) “It’s like fathers are not there." The article goes on to basically affirm a father's role in his family, where he is involved and engaging with his children. I was shocked to find this incredible article, that was promoting FATHERS on the NY Times! If our nation sees this problem, truly realizes the fault of our media and culture, I think we are one step closer to abolishing this false view of fathers. Article Sources: http://www.parentdish.com/2009...ired-help/ http://www.nytimes.com/2009/11...ers&st=cse |
Tessa Hart
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... I definitely agree with Ashley McCuen on this topic. It truly breaks my heart to see how much Fathers are mocked. The commandment to honor your father and mother has been seriously broken. A recent experience I had with this very issue was frightening. A father, mother, and their teen daughter were walking into the grocery store. The girls parents started laughing about something. The girl slowed down and let her parents walk on ahead as if to distance herself from them before they entered. As I looked at her face, I caught her mouthing, "I hate my family." I don't know the circumstances in that girls life, but from what I saw, she looked very hurt and wanted nothing to do with her parents. It is very saddening to say that this is the case for many children today. The "too cool for parents" attitude has crept into our culture. To check out trends, causes, and alternatives of this attitude visit: http://life.familyeducation.co...6377.html. One thing this article suggested, was for parents to become equals with their children. They basically concluded that if a parent looks cool to their children, they will win respect. I have to disagree with this. Where is respect involved when a child is treating their parent as a buddy. Calling their father dude or even by their first name is just as bad as disrespecting them entirely. I believe if parents invest into their children, they will win respect. "The time parents devote to their children is a major form of investment- one that is strongly linked with children’s well-being and development." To learn more about percentages of parents who invest time into their children in specific countries go to http://www.unb.ca/crisp/pdf/pb...e_use.pdf. Article Sources: http://life.familyeducation.com/peer-pressure/self-image/36377.html http://www.unb.ca/crisp/pdf/pbrief_parents_time_use.pdf |
Erin Oostra
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Everyone needs thier Daddy Everyone needs a father figure, whether it is their real dad or not. It is important to note that 63% of youth suicides are from fatherless homes (US Dept. Of Health/Census) – 5 times the average, 90% of all homeless and runaway children are from fatherless homes – 32 times the average, and 85% of all children who show behavior disorders come from fatherless homes – 20 times the average (even more statistics like this can be found at http://www.children-ourinvestm...thers.html and http://mensightmagazine.com/Ar...athers.htm ) . So while TV shows and movies are promoting the idea that to have a relationship with your dad is “not cool”, what about those children from fatherless homes? Would those statistics not be drastically different if they had a father? I know that a lot of the time I don’t take into consideration what my life would be like if I didn’t have my dad in my life. He works so hard and loves his family so much. Reading this article has made me realize that everyday should be Father’s Day, and I should be nothing less than grateful for my daddy. |
